


Caught With His Pants Down

by MarvelousMalarkey



Category: Ghosts (TV 2019)
Genre: Inappropriate Erections, M/M, Mentions of them anyway - Freeform, One Shot, but also surprisingly wistful, for now, hmmm, i was just gunna write smthn very horny but then emotions seemed to get in the way, idk what happened either, julian is horny in this, the others are all mentioned - Freeform, they may show up later if I ever write more, we will see
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:28:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28371645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarvelousMalarkey/pseuds/MarvelousMalarkey
Summary: When Julian was alive he would've hesitated to use the word bisexual to describe himself. It may have been legal but it certainly wasn't acceptable and would've greatly harmed his career to be publicly queer. It wouldn’t have mattered that half the people rejecting him for being a fag would’ve been the very same men he’d been fucking. No, Julian liked to think of himself as an Opportunist.And unfortunately for him, he's just realised that The Captain is really Quite Attractive. And Julian doesn't have any trousers. He's never missed them more.
Relationships: The Captain/Julian Fawcett
Comments: 27
Kudos: 99





	Caught With His Pants Down

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FitznFizz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FitznFizz/gifts).



> god i dont fucking kno either,, i hope u enjoy it i got possessed by a little brain worm

When Julian was alive he would've hesitated to use the word bisexual to describe himself. It may have been legal but it certainly wasn't acceptable and would've greatly harmed his career to be publicly queer. It wouldn’t have mattered that half the people rejecting him for being a fag would’ve been the very same men he’d been fucking. No, Julian liked to think of himself as an Opportunist. He liked Sex. Lots of it. And he wasn't particularly picky about who it was with. Still. There had been rules about that sort of thing. 

Now, however, he was dead. Bizarrely enough his death had given him rather a lot of time to think about it all which was hugely unexpected. He'd sort of figured when he died, as far as he'd ever figured anything about death, that he find out what it was all about and what exactly it was that had made his life so worth living, aside from the drugs, booze and sex. He did Not figure that he’d just get more of the same stuck on Earth shit but with far less ability to actually do anything! Bit unfair. It did give him a lot of time to think though. Almost far too much. Generally speaking, Julian was against change and reflection and the rest of that bullshit self-improvement malarkey, but there are only so many hours you can fill with meaningless drivel before you start thinking about the things. Especially not the things you deliberately didn't think about when you were alive. It all became much harder to avoid once you were dead. 

The point was. The point was had he been alive and kicking in today's political climate… he probably still would've labelled himself an opportunist. At least to the public. It's all very well and good saying times have changed and people are more accepting but quite frankly Julian would rather someone else put their money where their mouth was and risk it for a biscuit by becoming the first openly high-ranking bi-politician before he did. And judging by Allison's stuttering after some carefully probing questions, even in these modern times no politician had had the balls to do so. But he could admit it to himself. And he could probably admit, he thought to himself, as he stared at The Captain doing some inane stretching routine that would have absolutely no effect, that it may be a problem. 

The Captain moved into doing squats.

It was Definitely a problem.

The other issue with all of this ruddy nonsense of course, was that Julian had managed to die somewhat trouser-less. And Pant-less. And really there were times enough already where his shirt tails weren’t quite long enough to keep him perpetually decent. He did not need to add uncooperative body parts into the mix. His shirttails really WOULDN’T be enough to keep anything decent at that point and really there was a limit to being shameless. Also then people would Find Out and he really wasn’t all for that. It’s one thing to talk about a Panamanian Pumpkin Party in a room full of stuffed up, outdated, repressed ghosts, it’s another thing entirely to pop a Very Visible Boner. Even Julian has his lines and believes in the necessity of consent. What’s the point in having a jolly good time if there’s no enjoyment. No. That’s no fun. 

He’d taken to having regular little one man orgies in his room at this point just to try and minimise the risk but, as it turns out, along with not needing to breathe (technically; they all kept up the habit) or eat, ghosts also didn’t need a refractory period. This was not helpful information for one randy politician who hadn’t been laid in a good 30 years or so. Especially not when said politician had recently realised that one of his ghostly housemates could be really quite attractive actually and when said ghostly housemate loosened up, a lot more fun to hang out with than initially released. There were even times where, when The Captain was having fun and in a good mood, he could be downright enthralling. 

Sometimes, Julian mused, as he nonchalantly crossed his legs and sent a quick prayer to a God he wasn’t sure he believed in, there was really something to be said for a man taking charge. Lord knows Cap had only managed to successfully wrangle all the ghosts efficiently a few times but every time he did, boy did it send a shiver down his spine. That military bearing, the unquestionable authority and the firm hand with which he took charge? That could be a beautiful thing to see and some part of Julian longed to be dominated by it.

Then again, he thought, there was also something to be said for a man who clearly just needed a good shafting and Cap also fit that description to a T. When instead of his seamless orders The Captain was stuttering out unconvincing responses, eye twitching and swagger stick ineffectively waved through the air, Julian just wanted to grab him and hold him. Tell him it was ok and he didn't always Have to be in charge because this time it was Julian who had the authority. The experience. What he wouldn’t do to be the one who got to unwind a few of his screws. Press him down and rumple him up - mess up those straight lines and harsh edges and see if he couldn't soften him. Just loosen him up that little bit more and see how much fun he would be when he wasn’t stressed out and hiding away.

Oh yeah and there was that. The third issue. The Captain was so far into the closet he may as well have been crowned queen of Narnia. So any move Julian wanted to make, would definitely have to be Extraordinarily Calculated. Julian sighed deeply to himself. The real question was how much was it worth it. Did he really want to go through all the effort it would take just to risk being rejected? And villainised? Because he would definitely be the villain if his advances were unwarranted. 

Then again, it HAD been a very long dry spell. And to be honest he wasn’t all that confident he wouldn’t get caught out anyway. Especially given, and really this couldn’t be emphasized enough, he had No Trousers and was currently quite prone to sporting some of the Most Inconveniently Timed Erections known to man - dead or alive. Best to have a plan in place then no matter what. 

If he were completely honest with himself, he would inevitably end up going for it anyway now the realisation that he quite fancied the bloke had wormed its way into his head. He was, after all, an Opportunist.

But, he thought to himself, staring morosely at his lap in betrayal, before he even began to consider any of that, he had another problem to deal with. Again. He sighed. First things first. He glanced around the room to make sure it was empty before stiffly (ha!) rising (double ha!) to his feet and heading off to his room, shooting off yet another prayer that he wouldn’t encounter anyone en route. Maybe, given the amount of praying he found himself resorting to, he should consider taking up religion. He shook his head as he reached the stairs. He didn't need religion. He needed a wank.

**Author's Note:**

> if ppl want more i could be encouraged to turn this into smthn a lot longer.... just saying 👀👀


End file.
